apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
