I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
