Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
im six kinds of drunk right now
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
