Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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