sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
