Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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