Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
