I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We just shotgunned beers for America
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
How does it feel to date your dad?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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