Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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