Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Randomize