official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
