My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
