If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
