Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
