This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
