I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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