I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize