the new term for farting is butt boxing.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I will pee on everything he values.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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