I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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