i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
