question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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