a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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