Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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