check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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