And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
