The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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