I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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