my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i believe in u and ur pee
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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