Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood

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(406): View more from Montana

The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope

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(614): View more from Ohio

Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???

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(434): View more from Virginia

It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter

(504): View more from Louisiana

Is this a considering it or regretting it text?

(318): View more from Louisiana

I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!

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