the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
