i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
