please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
