Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
