Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
