the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
