Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
