normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
