Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
