just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
