he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
