when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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