She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i drank out of a bidet.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
