Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.

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(740): View more from Ohio

ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.

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(954): View more from Florida

Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket

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(309): View more from Illinois

Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.

(1-309): View more from Illinois

I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out

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(585): View more from New York

How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!

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