so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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