don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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