Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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