so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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