apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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