we made out on top of his cat.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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