Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
