did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
