He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
