why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
