I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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