He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
