turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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