We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
