It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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