the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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