Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize