it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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